lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
