If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize