its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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