My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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