Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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