dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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