Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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