My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
