Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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