I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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