Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
