i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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