What a fucking waste of an outfit
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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