Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
