Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Hippo gnu deer
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
