Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So squirting runs in the family.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
