I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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