Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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