my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
