she was so not down for the gang bang
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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