she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
