I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
