I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
