yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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