Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
