I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
