Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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