The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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