Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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