I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
