How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
