their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
