he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
All the doctor said was why
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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