i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
