I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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