69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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