hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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