Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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