Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
