How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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