Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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