oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
