I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
