Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize