Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
