I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes