Duck Duck Cougar?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...