Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.