a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
