He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
