I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
