Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
