Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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