also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Every concussion has its silver lining
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize