I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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