I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize