i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
