Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize