Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
