everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
