HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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