Pappa wants mamma naked
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
