when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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