How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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